Step one, you say we need to talk.

Note: Play this while you read, if you can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF0zefuJ4Ys

How to change a life. That is the song that sprung up on my ipod as I started writing this. And an epiphany happened. The song will never be the same for me again. It will not be about a friend, a boy, it won't even be about Grey's Anatomy. This song will be about Altaf. One of the 70 students in Malwani I am responsible for. The changes in my week long relationship with Altaf are eerily reflected in The Fray's song.

The first day when he came to school, I didn't teach him in class. We spoke outside the class when he was sent out ( this is a part of the lovely consequence system Adithya and Swapneel, my co-fellows,have established. After a warning is given, the student who is disturbing/misbehaving has to go out and talk to the other teacher. The conversation is on the lines of "WHY did you do what you did? What else could you have done?" I think it's a lovely way of dealing with behaviour management in class!) Okay-the parenthesis was way too long! Anyhow, I spoke to Altaf for the first time when he was sent out. The conversation was quite smooth. He accepted his mistake, apologized. He added an additional promise of being totally on-task when I'd come into class. However, the next day the promise was betrayed and how! For twenty minutes I couldn't teach anything because no one was listening to me! It wasn't just Altaf-everyone. Oh! Those twenty minutes were horrible- you don't want to be there. Like EVER. It was like a scene from the movie. I was screaming, "Students sit downnnnnn" and that worked like a cue  for them to shout more. I think I was more glad than the kids when the recess bell rang (yes, that's how the 20 minutes got over). But as I was walking towards the staff room, dejected and disappointed, Hussaina came upto me and apologized for the way the class behaved. And she became my silver lining. I realized that I'd spent the twenty minutes focussing on the 15 students who were creating havoc. I tried hard to picture the remaining 15, I had to think hard to focus on them - sitting silently, waiting for me to take charge, waiting and wanting to learn. So I went back in, with a different mindset, a stronger voice and a stronger will. And it worked, somewhat. You see how dramatic an hour in school can be? This is just ONE story, I have 45 hours worth of stories:) Oh! I am digressing. Altaf. After class, I spoke to him again- and this time I spoke to him as I would have if he were an adult. Next day- bang. Altaf was top notch in class, engaged-responsive-silent when required. Oh God! I can't explain the joy. But here comes the twist, after class I went to him to thank him for being so brilliant in class and he ignored me. Like he pretended that I wasn't there and continued shading one spot in his book. I had to leave then because the next class was starting, but I was totally dumbfounded by that. I caught him in the corridor a couple of hours later. For the next five minutes, I was talking and he was looking in the other direction. He spoke when I told him that neither of us would leave till he'd tell me about what was happening. And then came a reminder of the fact that underneath all the attempts at acting "totes cool" and all macho, he was, after all a kid. He said he was mad at me because I did not let him answer each time he raised his hand. At that moment, I kept the internal smile internal, and I told him quite sternly that that was a ridiculous reason and I wouldn't tolerate such behaviour. Since then we've been better. He still sits sideways in my class, sometimes passes cheeky comments. But we're both trying.
"As he goes left and you say right
 Between the lines of fear and blame
 You begin to wonder why you came"
I don't need to wonder why I came though. I have faces to my reasons :)